Ask Amy: Grandmother interferes with our rules for our child

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My wife hasn’t set boundaries with her mother, and I’m finding it hard to stay quiet.

My wife says that it isn’t my place but she hasn’t set boundaries, yet.

I’m all for grandparents spoiling grandkids, but when my daughter is throwing food on our floor and grandma says, “It’s OK — make your parents clean it up” I want to ground grandma.Keep your cool. The calmer and more consistent you are, the more effective your response will be. She may say, “Oh, I’m only joking, don’t take this so seriously.” And you can respond, “I get it, but we’re trying to be consistent, and her sense of humor isn’t quite developed yet.”My sister has been with her fiance for four years. They live together and plan to marry in July. This will be the second marriage for both. They’re in their 50s, and both have grown children.

Apparently, her dad covers this daughter’s expenses and does not require much in return. He lets her basically do as she pleases, and that means sleeping until noon, not working, and asking my sister, “What’s for dinner?”

 

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