Ask Amy: Can a doctor and a patient become friends?

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Dear Amy: I am a happily married, 54-year-old woman. I have a great primary medical provider.

The most “appropriate” and ethical stance is for everyone to stay in their boxes; “Rebecca” remaining your excellent and humane health care provider, and you remaining her grateful patient.

Despite the standard of maintaining boundaries, practitioners and patients do step out of these boxes because they are human beings and sometimes human beings just click. The OB who delivers the premature baby becomes a family friend; the oncology nurse administering chemo connects with a survivor. She can then accept or demur based on her own comfort-level, and your professional rapport will be preserved.My mother-in-law and I have not always seen eye-to-eye on everything, but we are cordial and appreciate one another.

We see her in-person once every month or two, and she has other family members and friends who live closer and see her more frequently.I think these calls you make are important — even if you always initiate. As she gets older, they will be vital ways to check in.

 

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