As an adoptee, I never looked like my family. Then I had a daughter

Lisa Cleary

I’m often asked if I remember anything about my time in Korea and always laugh when answering no, because I was adopted at 3 months old. I hesitate to even use “adoptive” when describing my parents, because they’re the only ones I have ever known. When I was in fifth grade, I remember telling my mom that I wanted to look like her. I didn’t want my mom’s eyes because of her race. I wanted her eyes because she was my mother, the person I wanted to emulate. I also fantasized about her having my Asian eyes and black hair. In my young mind, I thought that would make us more alike and therefore more connected.

I always felt a rush of hopefulness whenever I thought, "Will I be able to see a part of me in someone else?"

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