How lathered up you get over Know-It-All Baby Chris Colfer and Feisty Baby Saoirse Ronan joining forces to overcome a dark threat to both the human and fairy worlds inwill probably depend on one thing only — your existing affection for the novels by Eoin Colfer. This long-in-development adaptation, directed with misplaced bravado by Kenneth Branagh, has enough plot for four or five movies, none of which you will want to see.
Gad, for instance, plays Mulch Diggums, a "giant dwarf" and compulsive thief with the same stylist as Hagrid, who grooves to the Foreigner power ballad "I Want to Know What Love Is" and says things like "You do you, Foaly" to a centaur tech officer . Within the scheme of Disney's schizoid mashups,. But it's in that same deadening ballpark.
The theft of priceless relics from some of the world's most famous museums has led authorities to Artemis Fowl Sr. , a wealthy art and antiquities dealer who has abruptly gone missing. A suspicious repeat offender found in the area, Gad's Diggums, is apprehended and taken to a British Intelligence interrogation unit for questioning.
Having learned everything about the world of fairies, dwarfs, sprites, goblins, leprechauns and whatever from his father, Artemis Jr. has always believed them to be strictly mythological. But when he gets a ransom call from evil pixie Opal Koboi , he soon discovers that their secret realm does indeed exist. Artemis Sr. stole the Aculos, one of those powerful weapons like the unfortunately named Codex inthat everybody wants or fears without ever quite managing to explain what it actually does.
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