LAYTON, UT—Certain it was all that was holding her back from finding the man of her dreams, area mom Janet Kessler told reporters Thursday that she was convinced her 30-year-old daughter Meredith would be married by now if she just brushed her hair more.
“You know, if you just took a few extra minutes in the morning to run a comb through your hair, I’m absolutely certain you’d have a husband by now,” said Kessler, adding that if Meredith didn’t take care of the frizz, the closest she’d ever get to a wedding would be as someone else’s bridesmaid. “I’m not saying that you have to do anything fancy, but I know you would’ve already tied the knot if you just made a real effort to get those tangles out.
And grow it out.
The odds are good, but the goods are odd
A tangled relationship can't be brushed aside.
Didn't expect to see my mom here. 😂
Gotta listen to Area mom
😂😂😂
And next time the daughter visits, she's bald. Just as a subtle message.
literally my mom
Like many satirical thoughts, there's truth to this. Women who take care of themselves do have more dating options.
Brilliant. That’s me (whoops).
My mom thinks if I had a Mercedes and an iPhone, guys would take me more seriously.
This would go a long way as well.
Has she considered lowering her standards? Probably not...
If I know men, the one thing they value in a woman, is a well brushed set of hair, if they are going to begin the courtship process, and it'll help reduce her dowry in the long-run. Because real life.
You’d be so pretty if you would just learn to smile more.
Or stopped fighting Aliens.
Would it kill you?!?!?
And her teeth
Every word is true.
Well...based on that pic, that's likely true
I’m sure that’s it….
Ha that IS what she said
Maybe the problem is that her daughter has a dick.
Clearly she was a bad role model.
And wasn’t such a mega-$&$
Area Dad Convinced 14-Year-Old Son Would Be Employed Bh Now If He Just Got A Haircut
Well, you know, I tried brushing mine a few times...but it never stuck. Those damn split ends.
Wow why you calling out my mom like this?
Haha. That could be me!
Bring back the TheBabylonBee so we can get some legit comedy again.
haha
Has dropped several hints including repeatedly super gluing brushes into the defiant girl's hair.
Because it’s a goal to be married by 30 said no daughter ever. 😂😂😂
Holy shit this one is too real
Wow, Tina Fey has aged.
Corey Feldman is looking rough.
bClickClack me to mini
She's got no business giving out hairstyle advice!
😂😂😂
And wore lipstick…
Right nothing to do with all the pussy she eatin
This is my mum this is me.
Unkempt and unkept.
And putting on a little makeup wouldn't kill you either.
30? Puhleeze. 45. Maybe 50.
Would it kill you? mom says.
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