Are You Married But Lonely?

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Being in a committed, long-term relationship doesn't necessarily protect you from feeling lonely. Here's why.

. In fact, previous research shows that about a third of all older married persons report feeling lonely often.

In a recent article, however, Montclair State University psychologist Ashley Ermer and colleagues look beyond the spousal relationship to the largerof family and friends to see how these affect the perception of loneliness in marriage. They also explored how reported loneliness in married couples changes over time.

The second set of questions assessed the quality of their social relationships, in particular looking at support and strain in friendships, family, and the marriage itself. Questions such as “How much can you rely on them if you have a serious problem?” measured support, while questions like “How often do they make too many demands on you?” assessed strain. Respondents were also asked how close they felt to their spouse.

A second trend in these data, however, contradicted the general belief that older couples grow lonely or happy together. In fact, Ermer and colleagues found that husbands’ and wives’ levels of loneliness were not strongly correlated. That is, they found little evidence that lonely people other marry lonely people. Nor did they found strong evidence that couples’ feelings of loneliness grew more similar over time.

First, the wife’s level of loneliness at the first measurement predicted loneliness for both herself and her husband at the second two measurements. However, the husband’s initial level of loneliness was no indicator of how either of them would feel later on. This finding is consistent with the general observation that it is the wife who sets the emotional tone of the marriage.

 

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Whether or not we feel lonely depends on the way we think.

Dont see a problem 💯 agree with long term Isolation relationship. Go to the beach do some yoga. Namaste on the beach ⛱.

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