"I think [BDSM] actually was all to do with pain because when I was self-harming and I could cut and feel something, finally. I discovered very early on with a partner who was quite aggressive, that my body responded chemically very well to that," she said."And I wanted to explore that and I went all the way down the rabbit hole with that, and I couldn't feel anything."
"It was like a thrill seeking thing at a certain point to up the ante to see how far I could take it," she continued."I always wanted to die, so if I died doing that, I used to joke that that'd be a way to go."during the"Call Me Daddy" podcast, saying"You are not multiple personalities when you experience DID -- you are fragmented versions of yourself. The reason that the brain splits in this regard, it's always a protective mechanism.
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