Aging Stalker Not Sure How Many Good Years Of Crouching In Bushes He Has Left

ROCKFORD, IL—His joints cracking as he struggled to conceal himself amid the landscaping outside an area home, aging stalker Geoff Morton reported Monday that he wasn’t sure how many good years of crouching in bushes and peering through windows he had left.

“Back in my 20s, I could follow a woman home from the park and stay hunched over in the shadows all night, but now I barely last 10 minutes before I have to take a break and stretch my back. Not to mention I just can’t fit behind the rhododendrons as easily as I used to. I suppose it’s only a matter of time before my knees give out, I fall from a tree, and I’m caught.

It’s hard on the knees, I’m sure. He definitely needs a good multivitamin.

'Aging Stalker Crouching In Bushes' bb302 How long? Seven months. bb106 BreakingBad

crackling knees kill his cover

Why does this guy look like RichardDreyfuss ? ...he always seemed like such a nice guy.

creepy/funny

Yep, that can be hard on the knees. Maybe try kneepads?

Crouching’s hell on the knees

Speak for yourself

Oakraidr ... hang in there....

Really killing his knees..

Crouching cuts off blood circulation to the mid section. Not a good thing.

Meantime, the aging exhibitionist who had considered retiring has decided to 'stick it out' another few years.

His lack of an Adidas track suit tells me that he doesn't have the genetics for long term squatting.

father time catches up with uncle jive

You're a peeping Tom, and peeping is what you'll do.

not funny

Oddly enough he developed arthritis in his right hand

Binoculars help

Soon, he will have to rely on the 14,612 software applications which offer detailed location & engagement info on every aspect of every human being in public or on a phone or who works or who interacts with anyone in any way.

Both of mine are about 5-6 years older than me. So...hopefully not many. Hopefully someone comes along and adopts them or takes them to a no-kill stalker shelter.

Hahaha!

Add some glucosamine to that amazon order for night vision goggles.

😹😹😹

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