After 10 Years of Dating in New York, This Is What I’ve Learned

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“I still regard the men here like a zoologist observing a new species in the wild: utterly fascinated, but also acutely aware that I could be bitten in the ass at any moment.”

I should have known the date was going to be a disaster when he suggested we meet in Midtown. “Drinks by Penn Station—really?!” scoffed my friend Femi. In those days we used to say we got a nosebleed if we ventured above 14th Street. “Are you sure you want to go through with this?” If Ihave any reservations, they were swiftly consumed by a burning curiosity.

What I did know from my limited research was that New York men were far more forward than their London counterparts and, like Kenny, many of them could sniff out a new girl in town from a mile away. “Is that a British accent I’m hearing?” he had said, unbuttoning my boot-cut 7 for All Mankind jeans with his eyes the moment we met.

Now that we knew that the possibility of romance and apparently business was off the table, Kenny became visibly more relaxed. He also seemed emboldened to share all of his wildly inappropriate locker-room theories about European women. From what I could gather, Kenny had had precious little dating experience outside of his town in New Jersey; this girlfriend was likely a childhood sweetheart, and I was probably the first Londoner he’d taken for drinks.

 

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