Advice | Carolyn Hax: New mom of a boy can’t shake sadness at not having a girl

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Advice | Carolyn Hax: A new mom loves her baby boy but cannot shake her disappointment that she will never have a daughter.

I know this is super sensitive and I have not told anyone, because it sounds so awful, especially after the struggle to get to this point and have my son. But I have not been able to shake this feeling since giving birth a couple of months ago, and I have no other anxiety or depression symptoms that I’m aware of — just sadness that I don’t have a daughter. I would appreciate any advice you have about coming to terms with this and/or the joys of only having a son. Thanks.

It’s okay to be complicated. Focus on your baby and your recovery, and trust this to settle into a more manageable place as your son’s reality grows and displaces this abstraction. If it still feels heavy after you’ve had time to recover, or if at any time you’re feeling sadness or hopelessness that interferes with your ability to function, then please talk to your obstetrician about an evaluation for postpartum depression.

 

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