Advice | Carolyn Hax: Future sibling-in-law sets extreme dress code for wedding

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They want their sibling to intervene on their behalf to loosen a strict wedding dress code. (Think 'shimmery chartreuse.')

But sibling’s partner has sent parameters for what the family should wear. Not just “cocktail attire,” but a set of acceptable colors and patterns and materials and whatnot. And not, “Wear a black dress or suit.” None of the listed options are ones we would choose on our own.

But don’t ask Sib to stand up for you. Sib has hands full right now with the partner’s delusions of grandeur.I’m no fan of shimmery chartreuse, but I bristled at the framing of this question as “brother’s fiancee vs. the family.” Your brother is half of the couple requesting this wardrobe, so bring it up with him as if it’s something he has control over, not as if it’s something his future wife is doing unilaterally.Ah. You’re right, and I hang my head in shame at feeding a divisive narrative.

· I disagree with 365-days-a-year. They are adults, and they should wear appropriate clothes that they choose. Bad idea to start off the new relationship with the new in-law thinking that they can issue such demands and that they will be met. Good chance that will lead to more demands over the years. Start off with graciousness but not with obeying orders that are unreasonable.

Source: Law Daily Report (lawdailyreport.net)

 

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