Adam Silver Warns Player Against Leaving Bubble For Strip Clubs With Lackluster Talent

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ORLANDO, FL—Encouraging players to use their better judgment and not take unnecessary risks, league commissioner Adam Silver issued a warning Friday advising players against leaving the NBA bubble to patronize strip clubs with lackluster talent. “We don’t want players jeopardizing the bubble just to deal with bogus cover charges and asshole bouncers,” said Silver, attaching a list of local gentlemen’s clubs to avoid due to subpar food, exorbitant ATM fees, and stuck-up dancers. “If you’re gonna take such a huge risk, you better go somewhere that’ll give you some real action when you drop a few hundos. Don’t sell yourself short with some of these bush league Orlando clubs when South Beach is a short drive away. If you’ve got a game that night and you absolutely need to stay local, check out Blue Flame—I dropped 20 grand there a few weeks ago, that place is amazing.” At press time, Silver announced plans to staff the bubble itself with a hundred dancers after getting thrown out of another local establishment.

ORLANDO, FL—Encouraging players to use their better judgment and not take unnecessary risks, league commissioner Adam Silver issued a warning Friday advising players against leaving the NBA bubble to patronize strip clubs with lackluster talent. “We don’t want players jeopardizing the bubble just to deal with bogus cover charges and asshole bouncers,” said Silver, attaching a list of local gentlemen’s clubs to avoid due to subpar food, exorbitant ATM fees, and stuck-up dancers.

grand there a few weeks ago, that place is amazing.” At press time, Silver announced plans to staff the bubble itself with a hundred dancers after getting thrown out of another local establishment.

 

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I told my players on DAY ONE. If you're going to pull a Frank Coonelly, at least make sure you're drinking top-shelf and avoiding 'B-Team' hours. Also, if I catch them I get to fine them, and that means a bigger bottom line. BottomLineBob

Any strip club allowed to remain open during the pandemic should be required by law to change its name to Super-Spreaders - it just makes so much sense.

TeslaShuttle $idex

TeslaShuttle New team busses for ball players? Help save our ecosystem!! 🙌🤙🙌🤙

He came for the wings, but he stayed for the breasts and thighs 😐

Strip clubs with top end talent are acceptable, though

I loved Sports Dome.

Why not just bring the club to them?

Brass Rail Toronto warning patrons of Corona outbreak. Shit happens...

Reminds me of quite possibly the best nba analysis I've ever seen:

PVALLEY STARZ

andrewschulz

Only top ends are allowed

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