Aching Desire For One True Love Separated By Fate Still No Match For A Good Porkin’

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BLOOMINGTON, IN—Researchers at the Psychology and Brain Sciences department of Indiana University published a new study Thursday confirming that a person’s aching desire for their one true love that’s been separated by fate is still no match for a good porkin’. “Although many find immense satisfaction in eagerly waiting for the postal worker to deliver the latest dispatch from their dearly beloved from whom they’ve been unfairly torn apart, our findings indicate that this phenomenon doesn’t hold a candle to deep-dicking,” said head researcher Roger Patel, adding that all data suggests that the sensation of frantically tearing open an epistle from your dearest darling failed to compete with a good, old-fashioned hard pounding. “There is this false notion that the most divine catharsis comes from desperately craving the touch of your eternal flame, when, in fact, the truth is that this yearning is nothing compared to a blowout fuckfest that leaves you raw and moaning. Even if your star-crossed lover is separated by oceans or mountains, we have been able to prove on a consistent basis that trembling at the thought of reuniting can’t even be put in the same category as bumping uglies all damn night long.” Patel added that their preliminary research has also suggested that pining for your sweetheart’s return doesn’t even compare to a quickie in a public park.\n

BLOOMINGTON, IN—Researchers at the Psychology and Brain Sciences department of Indiana University published a new study Thursday confirming that a person’s aching desire for their one true love that’s been separated by fate is still no match for a good porkin’.

“Although many find immense satisfaction in eagerly waiting for the postal worker to deliver the latest dispatch from their dearly beloved from whom they’ve been unfairly torn apart, our findings indicate that this phenomenon doesn’t hold a candle to deep-dicking,” said head researcher Roger Patel, adding that all data suggests that the sensation of frantically tearing open an epistle from your dearest darling failed to compete with a good, old-fashioned hard pounding.

Source: Education Headlines (educationheadlines.net)

 

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Does anything ever change?

If you can't go nine innings; don't show up to the ballpark. Reason why Good Porkin' has the lead.

In a public park, while missing his beloved? Was this before the virus, of after, where the shameless couple wearing masks?

Hmmm ... What is the pay for the test subjects ... asking for a friend ...

the harsh truth? lol

Ain't that the truth.

I need one of these to have a fighting chance in the game of love and war.

It doesn't look like the 2 toe down feet are from the same person!

Eddie Murphy covered that in his brilliant thesis Raw.

Wow. TheBabylonBee is much funnier.

'Sir, this is a morgue'

Then let's do fucking...

'Man who has sex is forced to cuddle and talk.'

Me, but instead presented with the choices of reading an insightful book or farting around on social media

Poetry. Like the lyrics to a Doug Fieger song. 🙏🏻 Averre13

the bottom is dehydrated.

Gclomax

Or just having someone to hold.

At this time of night,

what's porkin?

A'men!

Or both

What women should have in the new era: astral birth control, astral sexual protection not to lose any prana/ power during sex especially for when their chakras align

This tweet is offensive. Please pull it down before you ruin the lives of another marginalized group

HAHA. Duh!

Just forkin' around!

Amen to that!

Both one or the other, obvs

That photo doesn’t really depict a “good porkin” in my opinion. 🐖

Porkistan - forbutts it

Fact

im vegetarian 😎

Makin' bacon

Pffft

Is this that pushed pork I keep hearing about?

👏

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