A Ton of Cocaine Is Washing Up on the Shore of France

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French police are trying to piece together how an unholy amount of pure cocaine has washed up on France’s Atlantic coast in the last month, with more showing up every day. Just dunes of drugs, as far as the eye can see! You COULD say there’s...coke on the water. (This is going to get worse before it gets better. I’m not sorry.)

In total, 760 kilograms of drug packages—enough to feed even the most serious Ahabit—have been found on beaches from Nantes to Biarritz, theThe cocaine is reportedly extremely pure, and that the packages “very probably” came from South America, potentially after a trafficker’s boat bumped into a storm or other trouble. Several are marked with the words“diamante” or “brillante,” much like those that reportedly washed up in Florida during Hurricane Dorian.

“It’s a very pure product that must not be consumed in this form because there is a very high risk of overdose,” Philippe Astruc, the public prosecutor in the city of Rennes, told France 2 TV. “There is absolutely an immediate health risk.”In addition to that, beach-goers are being warned that handling the coke can result in a 10 year prison sentence for possession, so ride the white whale at your own risk.

 

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French people

GreatDismal Hey cocainemitch Your boat’s here.

GreatDismal

GreatDismal Some countries have all the luck.

GreatDismal having a laugh at the prosecutor low-key admitting everyone has actually been snorting pixie stix and splenda and absolutely cannot handle this pure uncut snow

GreatDismal In unrelated news an entire school of herring was discovered embedded 4 inches into the local Sea Wall

How to attract junkies and ravers from around the world in 6 hours

The place to be

GreatDismal Already booked my flight to France 🇫🇷 ✈️! I love beachcombing

GreatDismal But only at high tide.

GreatDismal That she blows was a masterpiece

GreatDismal

The patriarchy?

Quoi? Sacré France, you party hard just like Daft Punk said. Sending my furry friend, he speaks the cocaine.

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