Rudy, not at the Mark Hotel. Photo: Elsa/Getty Images As the black SUV came to a stop on 33rd Street in Manhattan, its lights flashing, a pale hand stretched through the open window of the passenger door and gave a little wave. It was attached to Rudy Giuliani, who smiled from behind his tortoiseshell sunglasses. He apologized for being late. “Couldn’t go on sidewalks like I used to,” he said, mourning a perk of his past life as mayor.
When Giuliani got to his hotel in Vienna, he said it was 2:30 in the morning, and the first thing he did was search for opera tickets. “Lo and behold, that Friday night they were performing Tosca, with the conductor Marco Armiliato.” He sang me an aria from Rigoletto, one of the first pieces he fell in love with when he was introduced to opera in high school, as he theatrically conducted with his hands.
I asked him how he ever trusted Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman, two Russian associates with a business called Fraud Guarantee who were arrested by the FBI in October. “They look like Miami people. I know a lot of Miami people that look like that that are perfectly legitimate and act like them,” Giuliani said. “Neither one of them have ever been convicted of a crime. Neither one.
“I’ve done two business deals in Ukraine. I’ve sought four or five others,” he said. Since he’s been representing the president, he said, he has been approached with two opportunities in Ukraine, both of which he turned down to avoid accusations of impropriety. And about this, Giuliani is emotional. He reads his own press and sees that his friends, these “sources close” to him, are being weaponized by the conspirators, helping to paint a public portrait of a man unglued. These are the same concerned people who have told him to be careful with his legacy. “And my attitude about my legacy is Fuck it,” he said.
“If they are, they’re idiots,” he went on. “Then they really are a Trump-deranged bunch of silly New York liberals.” He added that he didn’t know for sure if he was being investigated at all, though subpoenas issued to Giuliani associates by the SDNY reportedly request documents and correspondence related to Giuliani, his firm, and, specifically, “any actual or potential payment” to or from Giuliani.
“Jealousy,” he added, “and because I’m of a different political philosophy than they are. They’re all — they’re all knee-jerk, now logically impaired anti-Trump people, including James Comey’s daughter, who works there. You don’t think she’s bitter? Do you know the things that I’ve called her husband? I hired her husband.”“Her father,” he said. “I consider her father a disgrace. I’m embarrassed that I hired him. Never seen anyone run the FBI like that.
Olivianuzzi I’m in my 4th year of recovery from an alcohol addiction and I recognize his behaviors from miles away. Functional alcoholics in professional occupations are masters at disguising very high levels of inebriation. He won’t remember this interview.
Olivianuzzi The reporter's encounter with Rudy leads to a slightly misleading take of one suffering from some sort of age based memory ailment (esp. when laid over a previous article about his texting habits). Reality: he can be a buzzed and uncouth slob but GREAT at evidence gathering.
Olivianuzzi Omg. Just read this. Thought he was crazy and now we know it. Who pays for his services. Nothing is free.
Olivianuzzi Well done. Did you take notes or just write from memory?
Olivianuzzi I’m embarrassed to be a Yankees fan along with this pile of rot.
Olivianuzzi My favorite: “Neither one of them have ever been convicted of a crime. Neither one. And generally that’s my cutoff point, because if you do it based on allegations and claims and — you’re not gonna work with anybody,” he said, laughing. “Particularly in business.”
Olivianuzzi oh ok, plz RudyGiuliani
Olivianuzzi Does he though? 🤔
mariasacchetti Olivianuzzi Rudy - 'I’ve been doing this for fifty years. I know how not to commit crimes.' His two close associates are under federal indictment. And he is completely entangled with them. John Dowd - stated they were working w/ Rudy as part of Trump's legal team!
Olivianuzzi How is this quote not getting more love? ...it was “typical Trump; he withholds aid till the last minute until he makes them beg for it.”
Olivianuzzi 'I know how not to commit crimes.' Said no law abiding citizen ever.
Olivianuzzi A once great man has become the courtjester to MadKingDonald
marckeepper Olivianuzzi 'I have friends in high places who have assured me that this is totally cool and totally legal'.
Bobalouie5 Olivianuzzi Sounds like the time I was speeding & told the cop 'I've driven over the speed limit for over 30 yrs & I know when I am speeding.'
evasivelogic Olivianuzzi 'It is impossible that the whistleblower is a hero and I’m not. And I will be the hero! These morons — when this is over, I will be the hero.” -- Rudy
Olivianuzzi Eyeseegee 👀
Olivianuzzi Interesting, the Mayor of America!
bevdevwarrior Olivianuzzi Is there a curriculum in law schools called NEVER DO THIS
Olivianuzzi Don’t talk to this slime all
Olivianuzzi The irony of Tiny being in the early stages of syphillitic brain decay to the point where he doesn't see Ghouliani as a liability , proves he's unfit to manage a Taco Bell taco shell crisper.
Olivianuzzi It's a mess to see how good gop politicians like RudyGiuliani & senatemajldr are becoming lost in the orbit of POTUS realDonaldTrump BlackHouse gravity toxic to UnitedStates and!! gop. DNC candidates unfitforoffice, too. Last desperate hope MikeBloomberg.
Olivianuzzi I mean, is that the bar? Really? Knowing how “not to commit crimes” is something to be proud of
Olivianuzzi Wow! I hadn’t realized how good the Guilliani Administration was to people who were homeless. Best kept secret.
Olivianuzzi Really excellent writing. 👏
Olivianuzzi Aha. He’s a drunken antisemitic fool and has a direct line to the Prez. Exactly as we suspected. It’s checkers not chess.
Olivianuzzi Morally corrupt
Olivianuzzi Was this real? I thought it was satire
Olivianuzzi This guy is a character in a movie satire.
Olivianuzzi But doesn't know how not to drool on self...
Olivianuzzi Drooliani.
Olivianuzzi Or to rephrase....I know how to crime and not get caught.
Olivianuzzi Unfortunately for Giuliani, he has started to hang out with realDonaldTrump , and Trump is an expert in committing crimes.
Olivianuzzi famous last words...
Olivianuzzi The cheapest -look at me- journalism.
Olivianuzzi This article. OMG. I am following you forever now!
Olivianuzzi Totally useless. We’ve been hearing the media tell us that Rudy is unstable for about a year. Here’s a reminder. We know NY Mag is in trouble financially —cheaper to pile on instead of actually breaking something. Ur pitch meetings must be like —“will this get Olivia on tv?”
Olivianuzzi
Olivianuzzi Well done OliviaNuzzi
Olivianuzzi Yea... I don’t think he does
Olivianuzzi no crimes, except for the CampaignFinance crimes, ElectionInterference crimes, Extortion of a foreign alley, perhaps hiding payments from RUS or UKR oligarchs.
Olivianuzzi I know how to skirt the law, and usually, how to zip my pants.
Olivianuzzi Rudy picks the hottest reporter to talk to over the phone. Bet he was naked and making strange sounds between long pauses. Hope they weren’t on FaceTime 🤢
Olivianuzzi Sooo he just admitted to how many crimes that he hasn’t yet been caught at because of technicalities ?
Olivianuzzi Please, SDNY, arrest this lunatic already. RudyColludy
Olivianuzzi Rudy was drooling...
Olivianuzzi I know how not to commit crimes is not something innocent people say.
Olivianuzzi I think .RudyGiuliani meant he thinks he knows how not to get caught.
Olivianuzzi Lol, Rudy thought he was talking to MAGAhaberman.
Olivianuzzi Trump's Lawyer Knows How Not To Commit Crimes- Americans Are Relieved Cc maggieNYT errollouis davidcicilline tedlieu
Olivianuzzi Ron Howard Narrator voice over: He committed several crimes
Olivianuzzi he knows how 21 coverup crimes he means
Olivianuzzi Of course, by the same logic, Rudy, you also know a hell of a lot about how to _commit_ crimes. NEXT!!!!!!!
Olivianuzzi Great piece. Lots of it reads like character dialogue excerpted from 'Bonfire Of The Vanities'.
Olivianuzzi ” He didn’t think it was such a big deal once he read about it, he said, because it was “typical Trump; he withholds aid till the last minute until he makes them beg for it.”
Olivianuzzi Thank you Olivianuzzi , now printed and cast in type!
Olivianuzzi A glorious idiot.
Olivianuzzi * Knows how not to get caught. Shorter Giuliani.
Olivianuzzi “Religion grants its adherents malign, intoxicating and morally corrosive sensations. Destroying intellectual freedom is always evil, but only religion makes doing evil feel quite so good.” Philip Pullman
Olivianuzzi “We can never be gods, after all--but we can become something less than human with frightening ease.” N.K. Jemisin, The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms (Inheritance, 1)
Olivianuzzi ***searches goodreads for quotes on hubris ***
mehdirhasan Olivianuzzi By that logic he also thinks he knows how to commit a crime and thus get away with it.
Olivianuzzi Hear he loves white Russians.
Olivianuzzi MUST read & retweet. Jaw-dropping.
Olivianuzzi 'Over a sweater, he wore a navy-blue suit, the fly of the pants unzipped' That's where I stopped reading. How old are you 5? What's next, his sox didn't match, spelling error, bad breath?
Olivianuzzi If only we could review every case you handled, you also know how to plant evidence and falsely incriminate people.
costareports Olivianuzzi Fix this. He is no longer of the ‘Southern District of New York’. He is Donald Trump’s personal attorney.
Olivianuzzi The Joker redux!
costareports Olivianuzzi We will see what The Joker has to say when they start fitting him for his orange jumpsuit.
Olivianuzzi Is this menopause?
Olivianuzzi Unsure if he knows how wrong he is or not
Limeylizzie Olivianuzzi Just like Basil Fawlty knows how to run a hotel.
Olivianuzzi Leave out the word not and it’s perfect. ColludyRudy
mehdirhasan Olivianuzzi Let the American people be the judge of that Rudy 👍
costareports Olivianuzzi Rudy is really stupid
Olivianuzzi No you just think you're too smart to get caught.
Olivianuzzi Holy Moly Pasta Fagioli. I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or take a shower.
Olivianuzzi Give you the Pulitzer now. I figured you had it in you.
Limeylizzie Olivianuzzi Dracula 🧛♂️
Olivianuzzi I could see that whole article in my mind's eye animated in the style of of the Katsuji Morishita, of Kill Bill fame.
mehdirhasan Olivianuzzi He may want to work on that defense. So he did it on purpose?
Olivianuzzi So at the trial, no plea of ignorance of the law or insanity will work.
jonathanvswan Olivianuzzi OMFG. POTUS’s Personal Lawyer “.....the fly of his pants unzipped” “As he spoke,he fixed his gaze straight ahead,...When his mouth closed, saliva leaked from the corner and crawled down his face through the valley of a wrinkle. He didn’t notice, and it fell onto his sweater.”
costareports Olivianuzzi So, with senility, the mind is the first to go!
Olivianuzzi Is this a parody? No, seriously.....IS THIS A PARODY? I mean, my jaw still hasn't pulled itself off the floor yet after reading this.
costareports Olivianuzzi Among his other shortcomings, the guy who used to head the Southern District of New York is not aware that federal prosecutors tend to be a**holes.
costareports Olivianuzzi He’s got to be smocking something that ruined his integrity
costareports Olivianuzzi
costareports Olivianuzzi I know how to skate right up to the edge of indictment without falling in amirite? Some might argue that's the power position: able to take advantage to get an edge without getting charged.
Olivianuzzi Brilliant! The beginning, pointing out that he was a 'security consultant' and ending with him leaving one of the phones beside you on the seat... Omg, this is just hilarious, kudos, full of comedy gold. Great write.
costareports Olivianuzzi
mehdirhasan Olivianuzzi Freudian slip
DeliaRo51955188 Olivianuzzi Yeah, he knows how not to get caught.
costareports Olivianuzzi You can do something for a long time and still not do it properly. Using a toothbrush, for instance.
Olivianuzzi Loved this article 👨🍳👨🍳💋💋
costareports Olivianuzzi So well written!
costareports Olivianuzzi Wherein Rudy admits to committing crimes for 50 years & brags about not being caught.
jonathanvswan Olivianuzzi
costareports Olivianuzzi Interesting wording. Are you trying to tell us something?
Olivianuzzi Lol...They not going to bother him, he got Gotti locked up. He's in the Bed with the Fed's😎
Olivianuzzi
costareports Olivianuzzi This man is as nuts as the orange jackass in the WH. Just because he didn't get busted for doing crimes for 50 years doesn't mean that what he was doing was legal. Trump didn't get busted either and he's been criming his whole life. White collar criminals shouldn't get a pass.
mehdirhasan Olivianuzzi You haven’t been caught committing crimes in 50 years. They should investigate the last 49 years as well.
costareports Olivianuzzi Laughable falsehoods. The idea that Rudy cuts his alcohol with spicy tomato juice
Olivianuzzi He’s plain crazy.
costareports Olivianuzzi So says Daffy Duck!
mehdirhasan Olivianuzzi Unbefuckinglieva... never mind. Totally fucking believeable.
Olivianuzzi These pics of this man wearing Yankees gear is completely tarnishing the brand 🤦♂️
Olivianuzzi If I found out RudyColludy rooted for my team, I's switch teams.
mehdirhasan Olivianuzzi
Olivianuzzi You violated the Logan Act, plain and simple. Unfortunately for us it would take the corrupt AG Barr to enforce it, so that won't happen.
mehdirhasan Olivianuzzi
jonathanvswan Olivianuzzi
jonathanvswan Olivianuzzi Funny how he worded it: “ I know how to not commit a crime” In other words, “I know how to not get caught committing a crime.”
jonathanvswan Olivianuzzi He’s been zipping his fly for longer than that but he still forgot for this interview so 🤷
jonathanvswan Olivianuzzi Narrator: 'He does not.'
Olivianuzzi Methinks he doth protest too much
mehdirhasan Olivianuzzi He’s been a billshittwr his whole life. He knows how to lie on a lie.
Olivianuzzi It just means that you have not learned much in 50 years Rudy.. we know what you are and it is not flattering RudyGiuliani
Olivianuzzi 👌🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Olivianuzzi Let’s Go Mets!
Olivianuzzi Lol
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