8 Things Not to Say to Someone Who's Estranged from a Parent

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Those who are navigating a family estrangement deserve compassion rather than judgment. If you want to be helpful, here's what you should avoid saying.

by mainstream media, and the publication of two mainstream books which at least drag the subject out of the shadows. .

When parents cut a child out of their lives, the governing assumption is that they must have a very good reason since their action runs counter to everything we believe about the enduring and inviolable nature of parental love. It’s true that the prevailing narrative has been challenged in some circles, though not all, by stories of parents who threw kids out for being gay or trans or not adhering to their religious beliefs.

The truth? Most people are more comfortable imagining an adult child’s fit of pique than a neglectful, emotionally absent or abusive parent.The reality is that when someone is confiding a painful truth, there’s actually no need to say anything at all but, if you feel compelled, it would be great if you could steer clear of the ones listed below.

As I pointed out before, these are legal requirements, but did you know that infants who are deprived of touch, attunement, and love fail to thrive and can actually die? Emotional needs are not metaphors or6."Trust me: You will regret this when they die."trip, served with a side of filial obligation and cultural disapproval, under the guise of being helpful.

 

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5 is the one I find most irritating. Doing the bare minimum to keep the child YOU chose to have alive does not make you a good parent. Providing essentials to sustain the life you brought into this world doesn't excuse you from everything bad you do.

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