8 parenting phrases you probably say that can totally backfire

Why experts say phrases like"I'm proud of you,""Use your words" and"Hands are not for hitting" might not give you the results you expected.As a developmental psychologist who helps parents and children learn best practices for maintaining caring relationships, Lele Diamond thinks a lot about what adults should and shouldn’t say to kids.

If your kid just hit their sibling and you respond with, “We don’t hit in this family,” it can sound to your kid like “they are outside the family and don’t belong,” says Rosensweet. She adds that it’s a phrase meant to shame, and can introduce insecurity.“I see you’re frustrated, and I totally get why you would want to smack your brother. Last week my boss made me so angry I wanted to throw a highlighter at her!” Then focus on simple truths and propose alternative behavior .

When you’re pretty sure your kid made a considered, unemotional choice to, say, draw on the walls with markers, asking them if they think they made a good choice, or how they feel about it, won’t be as effective calmly issuing“The markers will live on top of the refrigerator now, and you’ll have to ask when you want to use them. In a week, we can try again to see if they can live on your table and find their way onto paper, not walls.

“I hate ‘use your words’ so much,” says Rosensweet. “If they could use their words, they would!” Imagine being truly upset in a conversation with your partner, crying and shouting, and they tell you to use your words. It would not go over well, Rosensweet says: “It’s like nails on a blackboard.”Markham recommends giving the child the specific words they need: “You can tell your brother, ‘Move please.’ You can tell your sister, ‘I’d like a turn.’ Put the words right in their mouth,” she says.

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I was sister before being a Parent And If Y'all do Not like that I have experience That Is Y'all problem I am Not A Babysitter.

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