they can swing wildly from cuddle bug to incensed teenager to drunk uncle and back again in less time than it takes to change the channel from. Which is why we as caregivers try to wield as much control over them possible. From car seat tantrums to battles overand everything in between: They want control, we want them to keep their pants on at circle time.Not with everything, of course, but with the things that have the least impact on me, and the biggest impact on them.
They can’t say no to things that would risk their health or safety: They have to wear seat belts, hold my hand while crossing a busy road and wear shoes at the mall. But if their “no” isn’t particularly egregious, I take the time to find outthey “don’t a-wanna.” No to bath time before bed? How come? Can we make a deal, then, that we’ll have a bath in the morning? No to cucumbers on your plate? Why not? If not cucumbers, please pick one other fresh choice.
as opposed to the one I had placed in her “Tuesday” bin. Toddlers will want to wear a parka to daycare even though it’s May. They’ll want the blue plate with their banana, not the yellow one . They’ll want to wear their stegosaurus costume to PetSmart. And they’ll fight to the death for their right to make that choice. Some of our least-tantrumy days are ones in which I give them a choice first, so we don’t even have to fall into that power struggle.
At the end of the day, navigating life with a toddler can feel like navigating a minefield. The mood swings, the outbursts, the random acts of violence, the noise… It can all make you feel like you’re losing your mind.
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