5(ish) Questions I Had About Last Night’s Episode of the Bachelorette

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Does no one know what “words of affirmation” are? TheBachelorette

Photo: abc One time, I asked a guy I was seeing if he knew what his love language was. He told me and then, when he dutifully asked, “What’s you—” I cut him off, bellowing, “WORDS OF AFFIRMATION,” and then sat there preening for half an hour while he gave me compliments. The relationship ultimately ended because it turns out his love language was “acts of service” , which he was satisfying with two other women both of whom had the same name.

The other love languages were “gift giving,” and “physical touch,” where Clare and the guys felt each other up while wearing blindfolds, and she kept insisting that she recognized each guy’s smell, like some kind of horny bloodhound. The “quality time” portion of the evening was the cocktail party, which started with a very awkward moment where Clare gave a toast, and then none of the guys asked to talk to her.

Next week looks like it will be all about how Dale and Clare fall in love and blow up this season, but until then, here are some questions I have:

 

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