“Now I choose to believe relationships end because that person has come into my life and taught me the lesson I needed to learn,” she said.It doesn’t matter who ended the relationship: the relationship isn’t right if you both wholeheartedly don’t want to be in it. To be dumped is to be set free – and to even use language that equates being broken up with to being thrown into a dustbin is pretty outrageous, too.
Of course, break-ups can be sad and complex. I’m not asking you to shout congratulations at me like you’re at a surprise birthday party. What I am asking is you respond, empathetically, and invite a proper conversation about my experience and feelings. Rather than making the presumption that all break-ups are bad. “I’m sorry” is what you say when someone has died. No-one has died and if anything, I feel more alive than ever.
I suspect a lot of people are staying in bad relationships out of fear – and I feel much sorrier for them. I understand the fear because there is a stigma around being single that gets worse with age. There are things I don’t get invited to, living is a lot more expensive and it’s scary to think we may be alone forever, which is not how us humans are engineered to be.
“Break-ups are hard; they’re really hard, but not because you’ve been banished to single purgatory as the common reaction suggests”, he says: “We have to be wholly at peace with the prospect of many years of solitude in order to be appropriately picky; otherwise, we risk loving no longer being single rather more than we love the partner who spared us that fate.”
I believe single people are hugely optimistic about life and love – those who’ve just been through a break-up feel that optimism even more so. We have faith that we deserve more than what we had before, and we have the courage to go out and get it. I believe that is worthy of celebration.email for a curated edit of brilliant content every day
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