What’s All This About “Rodent Men”?

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Right under our noses, a colony of so-called “rodent men” have been busy taking over Hollywood, from Willem Dafoe to Jeremy Allen White to Rami Malek.

This week, the internet wants to know one thing: are you a man, or are you a mouse? We appear to be scurrying into the summer of Rodent Men, a category of boys that – I can’t quite believe I’m typing this – look like rodents? That is literally the whole trend. Men that look like rats. Let that sink in. Something out there has changed; perhaps rodents have hired banana bread’s PR from the pandemic? Everyone is horny for mice, beaver-whipped, rat-lusting.

Now we’re categorising men into Rodent Man or Not Rodent Man, like Zuckerberg starting Hot or Not in college. You might be asking yourself if you have a rodent man at home. Is he hot, but also mouse? Is he handsome, but somehow squirrel? Does he have porcupine eyes? Chipmunk lips? Ask yourself the hard questions.

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