Having moved beyond that cycle of hope and grief that characterised my years of trying to become a mother, I have gained a bit of perspective, and can now see how forged in privilege those assumptions about the woman I was supposed to become were. Our mothers’ generation had gone out there and changed the world for us – feminism, in the mid-90s, felt like a battle that had been won. All we had to do was get out there and reap the harvest, to have it all.
Honesty helps. Honesty about our experiences, our bodies, our desires, our losses, our envy, our griefs, our joys. When I encountered Helen Cixous, the French feminist’s invocation to ‘write yourself, the body must be heard,’ at University in the 90s, it was interesting, but didn’t strike me with the force of necessity. I was too busy hanging out with boys,, downing pints in the bar. But it feels, now, as though we are in the midst of a golden era of women owning their bodies.
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