Ways to process grief and what to do if you didn’t get to say goodbye

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Residents on Albert Square said their final farewells to Lola in an extremely emotional EastEnders episode affiliate

EastEnders viewers have been left in tears in recent weeks as Lola Pearce’s final moments on Albert square aired on our screens. After being diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour last year, the fearsome hairdresser was given months to live and her final scenes on the soap aired on today’s episode .

1. Write a letter “If you didn’t get to say goodbye to a loved one, a hugely helpful exercise is to write a letter to them. Put everything in your letter - apologise, forgive, tell them the things you love about them and also the things you will miss etc. No one will read it, unless you want them to, so be totally honest.

2. Be honest You need to use this time to say everything that needs to be said. Once you start to share it becomes easier, less scary. Share your memories, let tears flow and let the laughter in too - it helps a lot even though it doesn’t lessen the seriousness of the situation, it does help to soothe and help gain a sense of normality and is a great relief of tension and stress.

Give your loved one permission to die and send them with your blessing. Even though we never want to lose someone, we must accept the laws of nature - we live, we die. We must be present, honest and accepting. Self care is necessary to assist the healing process as you begin the journey to reconciling your loss. Engaging in activities that bring you comfort can contribute to your overall wellbeing when you grieve. Self care can take many forms and it’s important to find what works for you.

 

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