My parents and I came from Nigeria in the early nineties. In the Western world conversations about money and the financial system as a whole work very differently – there are a lot of rules that exist in the UK that don't exist in Nigeria. And there are a lot of structures that exist in the UK that don't exist in Nigeria. And as a result, there are things that I couldn't, as a child, have asked my parents about because we were learning at the same time.
I think for me, one thing I really had to come to grips with was an acknowledgment that you have to manage your money the same way you manage other areas of your life. You have to make a plan. When I go to see friends, I have a plan, I know what we're doing. I know where we're going. When I'm at work, I have a plan for the day. I know what needs to be done. But, I would approach money differently, like 'you have it, you spend it, you have it, you spend it'.
After my heartbreak I shifted my focus from this man and planning around this man, his life, and his career to pausing and asking myself what I really wanted to do. It was the first time in my life that I'd actually asked myself this question. I realised that my value as a woman is very much about me and not about my relationship status. It is about the legacy I leave in this world. I started tweeting about this journey and this self-reflection, like it was a journal, and began to share my thoughts about love and relationships.
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