“As my body becomes a foreign place to me that doesn't really feel safe or like home...I don't know how to manage or control or fight the external binary narrative of the patriarchy that has hunted me and haunted me most of my adult life.”
As Tracee navigates this new stage in her life, she mentions redefining and “curating” her chosen family: “I don't think I realised the gift of that until I've started to get older”.She also spoke about her experiences of being single – particularly the fact that she's been “sold” the idea that she needs to be “chosen” by a romantic partner.
“We go back to this model that you're sold, that not only are we sold it, but we are fed it and we have to drink it and it's everywhere. And if you're not careful, you actually think it's true. And it's the only bit of news for you, which is that my job as a woman is to learn to be choosable,” she said.
There's a certain erasure of who we are as people, she suggests, if we're looking to other people to choose us. Being chosen seems to have “nothing to do with who I am, what makes my heart sing, floats my boat, makes me feel safe, makes me feel comfortable, makes me feel good, makes me feel powerful, makes me feel smart. Any of those things.
"But really it's more about how I might be seen, so that I might be chosen so that my life could mean something as a chosen woman who then gets to have a child and then be a mother and do that for a child.”
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