You were my first serious boyfriend and the kindest, funniest, sweetest guy. You were good looking, sporty, into drama and liked by everyone. Being with you was the first time I understood what it felt like to be cared for and valued as a person in my own right.
We left school and drifted. I went to university and you went travelling but through mutual friends I’d hear what you were up to. I finished it because you were ‘too nice’. You didn’t understand how that was a problem, and were devastated. You messaged back, offering me advice and we talked – nothing more than that – but I can’t begin to explain how much that helped. You were lovely and as kind spirited as ever.I wanted to tell you how much I had missed you over the years and how much it meant to speak to you, but I couldn’t. My head was muddled; anyone that goes through awill know the feelings of failure and unworthiness that follow in its wake. I didn’t have any belief that anyone would feel the same about me.
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