This is Amazon: Guardians of Eden, another entry for your worst games of all time list

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So much awful, so little time.

wrote Crapshoot, a column about rolling the dice to bring random games back into the light. What happens when a company wants to make an interactive movie long before the technology is available? Pain, mostly. Pain, and regret.

No, of course not. In trying to be an adventure serial, each of Amazon's chapters is split up as if you walked off for a week between chapters, as opposed to reality, where you'd probably never have gone into the cinema ever again. Even this short burst brings more headscratching than some whole games.

Just wait. Juuuuust wait. The idea of Amazon is clearly to combine all the hamminess and tropes of these serials, but the result is really more like someone ate them, stuck a finger down their throat and vomited them up. After a needlessly awful trek involving chartering a plane with a pilot who by the sheerest of crappy luck turns out to be on Sanchez's payroll and sorting out the guy above in his little village, Jason finally does discover his brother Allen. Allen has a life expectancy of exactly four scenes at this point, because there's a pretty girl with him and absolutelyis going to get in the way of a romantic sub-plot.

But it gets worse. The foreground completely obscures everything you have to avoid, the few pixels of it that you actually can, when the perspective doesn't fool you into thinking you're fine rather than on a collision course with death. WHICH IS ALL THE TIME. All to a soundtrack of screeching monkey noises. Isn't this the most dickish thing ever?

 

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