THE MESSY ONE When it comes to José Mourinho, The Fiver is here for the pettiness. The drama. The staggering lack of self-awareness. Heartwarming moments on e-commerce documentaries? Stick that in your laundry basket. A Macedonian hack being granted a selfie with cuddly José? Urgh. We want the touchline sprint and knee-slides, the handbags with Arsène Wenger specialising in failure, the three-fingered salutes, one for each of his Premier League titles.
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