The Case For Getting Back With Your Ex

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One writer, having reunited with her own great love, has been rooting for Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck’s rekindled romance.

famously broke up before reuniting and marrying, ditto Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel, Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell, John Legend and Chrissy Teigen, and Cardi B and Offset. Ben Stiller recently revealed tothat he and wife Christine Taylor had reconciled after a three year break-up. Vanessa and Nick Lachey integrated their pre-wedding break-up into the premise of, Netflix’s latest guilty-pleasure reality TV show about couples who try going on “a break” to see if they are ready for marriage.

We live in a culture that fetishises on again, off again relationships and romantic reunions, writes Grace O’Neill.None of that is to say that getting back with an ex is all riding off into the sunset . For every Justin and Hailey there’s a Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thompson. “Something I emphasise to clients is the importance of doing ‘self work’ aroundthey want to pursue the relationship again,” says Rachel Buchan, a London-based psychotherapist.

Buchan is also quick to highlight that constantly breaking up and getting back together can be a red flag. “If a relationship is abusive, coercive, or controlling, there’s often a ‘leave/return’ dynamic that exists because the relationship is damaging or even toxic. This is a separate issue that I would want to work through with a client in a different way.

 

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