Relegation picture all but settled, Spurs avoid the Spursiest of fates

Burnley are down, Luton are almost certainly down and Spurs – despite themselves – are almost certainly going to finish fifth. Elsewhere, Newcastle slip up and Palace confirm their Actually They’re Good Now credentials…The most powerful rule in all football is that whatever is happening anywhere to anyone the joke is always on Spurs. Even times when things seem to be going well for Spurs, it’s always worth remembering that it is only to make the punchline hit harder in the end.

Newcastle United have not lost at home since Manchester City visited in the middle of January, but maintaining that with a single point is less than they would have hoped for. It is if anything a bit too on the nose for Brentford’s late goals in a game of deeply surprising late drama to come from Bryan Mbeumo and substitute Yoane Wissa – each assisted by the other – after another afternoon of toil for Ivan Toney.

Their fine end to the season is obviously encouraging for a less exhausting and stressful campaign in general next year, and central to that has been the located mojo of Dominic Calvert-Lewin. He remains tantalisingly and beguilingly good when the form and fitness stars align as they have in recent weeks.

A win in a game they ought to be winning, made far harder than it should have been but quite impressive in the end. There is a large subsection of the British football media that will be willing a new-look West Ham to fail next season, the ‘careful what you wish for’ knives long since sharpened. Which obviously makes us desperate to see them succeed.

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