QUENTIN LETTS: Planet Green is dappled by sunlight like an advert for vegetarian bacon, but they...

The Greens unveiled their manifesto at Sussex cricket club, Hove. A club employee directed us. 'Head for cow corner,' he said. Cow-shot corner: every cricket ground has one. It's where the no-hopers slog balls.

One of the Greens had pink-orange hair. A boho-chic woman in an Oriental trouser suit floated around with a silk mask. Plenty of these youngsters looked as if they might be on private incomes. A child of about five marched in with her bicycle and helmet, trailing a daddy as damp as moss.Green Party co-leader Adrian Ramsay speaks at their general election manifesto launchThe event was opened by Sian Berry, 49, who exuded fey sadness via a Mariella Frostbite drawl.

Greens believe in equality. Does that mean they are vicious redistributionists? You betcha. They want to take your money and splurge it on eco-projects. Anyone on £50k or so would be hit. The opulent – which probably meant the parents of most of the naive kids in this room – would be wrung dry.

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