My Troubled Mother Died A Mystery To Me. Uncovering Her Story Changed My Life.

The author's mother, Pam , hitchhikes with a college friend in Europe in the early '70s.

In my early childhood memories, I had two loving parents who were endlessly committed to their three children — two boys and a girl in the middle. We lived in exciting places. I spent my first two years of life in Mauritania. My baby brother was born in the Philippines. We moved every three to four years, and my mother was, according to peers, the “quintessential expat.”

And while my early rejection of her stemmed from anger, it was also self-defence. By locking me out, it felt like she had rejected me first.I did end up pursuing a professional path similar to my father’s. I worked for a smattering of nongovernmental organisations with the stated cause of “ending violence against women and girls,” whose stories I sought to uncover and tell. As I doggedly chased the untold and complex narratives of women’s lived experiences, my own mother withered away.

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