My brother had everything - yet he took his life last summer

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'As I write this, I still find myself numb to my core and in total disbelief'

I lost my brother Sam last summer to suicide and as I write this, I still find myself numb to my core and in total disbelief.

He was just 33 when he died and to the outside world, he had it all: a successful business, his own home, good looks, popularity, great friends and a loving family. He could engage with anyone and made an instant impact. Nobody we knew struck so fine a balance between the fun and the seriousness of life. Sam was a brilliant joker, entrepreneur, brother, son, uncle, and friend.As a baby, he was always very determined, a quality he never lost. And he was physically strong. He could often pick things up double his body weight. He had the brightest of blue eyes. Aquamarine in colour, which he inherited from our mother.

I knew by my father’s tone it was serious. Sam had left a day earlier than the rest of us to get back and organise his busy working week, which he did indeed do on his return. I thought Sam had been injured or been in a car accident. When I arrived at our family home and there was no sign of a police car or ambulance, I was so relieved.I walked out onto the drive to meet my parents. They held me and told me they were so desperately sorry and they didn’t want to have to ever say these words….

 

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