My birth mother’s terrible accusations are tearing me apart | Dear Mariella

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Mariella Frostrup tells a woman to look seriously at what she hopes to achieve by pursuing ‘the truth’ about her conception

The dilemma I was given up for adoption as a baby. I’m in my 50s now. I’ve never met my mother but, with the help of the adoption agency that forwarded my letters, she claimed that although they were in a relationship, my father raped her. I’ve been searching for him since my early 20s and had asked my mother for more information to find him. She refused. Last year I found him. We are now in regular contact. I haven’t told him that my mother said he raped her and then became pregnant.

 

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If he did rape her, he is unlikely to tell the truth and paint himself as a victim instead, as many abusers do.

Oh Lordy!!

“The past is a foreign country, they do things differently there” - So true.

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