It's time to let go of the idea of post breakup glow-ups

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'Instead of taking the time to look after myself, explore the feelings the breakups had thrown up and work through them to help me heal, I was consumed by my appearance'

I’ve been through two significant breakups in my life; both were incredibly messy and painful affairs that placed a much-needed full stop at the end of protracted periods of uncertainty and upheaval.

Because as a young teen and then woman, I had learned the importance of winning the breakup; that is to say, re-entering single life looking better than my exes had left me. It’s the ultimate revenge, isn’t it? I wanted to ‘control the narrative’, just as many strong and celebrated women in the public eye had done before me — remember the intense focus on Jennifer Aniston’s appearance after the Brad and Angelina fiasco? This wasn’t a sad time but something to be celebrated, look how much better off I was without my exes! A real winner!

I wish I could say these sorts of narratives and the immense pressure they put on people — but let’s be honest, women — who are going through incredibly painful and difficult periods in their life are a thing of the past. In 2021, in the media, we all have to think really carefully about the messaging, whether direct or indirect, these sorts of takes perpetuate.

 

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