HAVE the flames of passion in your relationship faded to barely a smoulder – because you just don’t fancy your other half any more?THE other day I sat with a friend over coffee and said something I couldn’t believe came from my lips: “My husband fancies me but I don’t fancy him.”When I first met Cornel in 2005 I fancied the pants off him immediately. It was a full-on, total, sexual and physical attraction.But really it was his brooding eyes, his Roman nose and his slim yet muscular physique.
I know I sound ungrateful. But the fact is, I love him more than ever, and much, much more than when it was all about sex and attraction. But sometimes, like a rare miracle, I will fancy him again from nowhere. It’s usually at really weird, inappropriate times. When I first met Cornel he oozed testosterone. He was full of energy, cocky and arrogant. It was attractive. Now he likes to look at his coin collectionI’m not alone. Friends tell me they feel the same. The at-least-once-a-day sex rule is long gone.“The thought repels me!” she said. To be honest, it’s not my hubby that repels me.
But what we’ve lost in the lust department, I really feel we’ve made up for in the contentment and peace department. The fact is, men are younger when they are more attractive. It’s a myth that men get more fanciable as they age, unless they’re George Clooney!Then there’s the fact that you just talk more. About everything. Life, the universe, family, beliefs.So do I regret or feel sad that we’ve lost the passionate side of our relationship?
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