'I thought my toddler would grab a knife and KILL my newborn' reveals mum who suffered from postnatal depression

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A YOUNG mum has bravely confessed to having postnatal depression so severe that, consumed by irrational anxiety, she feared her toddler might kill her baby, that strangers would snatch her from her…

A YOUNG mum has bravely confessed to having postnatal depression so severe that, consumed by irrational anxiety, she feared her toddler might kill her baby, that strangers would snatch her from her pram, or that she would harm her own children.

She was studying Geography and Spanish and, sadly, right from the start, felt out of her comfort zone and unable to fit in.“In my first year, I drank a lot, skipped lectures and put on a front," said Milli. Aged 20, Milli returned to her studies, but this time took a degree in public relations, graduating from Leeds Metropolitan University – now known as Leeds Beckett – aged 23 and landing a top job with a London broadcast agency.

Describing dealing with depression as feeling like “walking uphill through treacle,“ Milli, who now works for her husband's IT consultancy company, said the effort required to cope means that every time something goes wrong – from little things like losing the car keys to bigger problems like a financial set back – it gets worse.“Constantly overwhelmed by worry and stress, I became used to feeling angry and being a bad-tempered person all the time,” she said.

“I hated feeling sad all the time and I felt guilty about not being grateful for everything I had," she said. Eventually, Milli was officially diagnosed with postnatal depression by a psychiatrist at The Priory in April 2018.for a month, and having been under the care of her perinatal team for a year and taking antidepressants, which she said "take the edge off" the bad feelings and leave her mind clearer, Milli is coping far better.

 

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