‘I still love my ex and he wants me back but I can’t forget how he dumped me’

In Lalalaletmeexplain's hit column, readers ask for her expert advice on their own love, sex and relationship problems.

He recently messaged asking to meet after 13 months of no contact. We met and he said he has regretted it ever since, he is still in love with me, can't see a life without me and doesn’t want to be with anyone else. He explained that he broke up with me due to a mixture of the pandemic, the next stage of our relationship and poor general mental health which left him confused at the time.

The fact that he ended things out of the blue without trying to communicate, or suggesting couple’s therapy, or doing anything to try to fix things before simply leaving, is the part that would make me feel most concerned about whether he has changed enough/done enough work in the past year to ensure that he would be able to manage things differently if he got cold feet again.

You don’t have to make a decision about having a full-blown relationship again just because that’s what he wants. Perhaps you could date again, commit to staying single but have him in your life for friendship and fun nights out to see how things go. Or you could go to therapy together to try to learn to trust him again and to make sure that you have a better foundation for communication going forward.

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