I went to every doctor I could asking for help, but the psychiatrist told me, "Your chemicals are off, you're like this and we got to get you back to this." That was the first thing that's ever made sense to me. I went on medicine and I asked for a very low dose, it didn't change me at all, except for helping my panic. I haven't had a paid panic attack since.
I was trapped. I couldn't sleep in my bedroom because that's where I had panic attacks so I would change up my whole house and say, "We're sleeping in here now because it's a new day, a new room. I'm fine!" I had to help Daryl, my husband, I had to teach him and say, "Here's what I need you to do in these moments. Just tell me that I'm breathing, that everything's fine and rub my back and shut up.
It made me forgot about all of it, which was sad because there's moments where I don't feel successful. Most of the time I don't feel successful and I don't feel like I did it. Dr. Phil interviewed me, and he started with all the things I've accomplished, and I was like, "What? I forgot about all of that!" I've been stuck in right now, what am I doing right now and that's not the point.
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