We're always taught about forgiveness. In school. By parents. In church, even, if you're that kind of family. We're told that the better person, the bigger person, will always accept an apology, will move on from a slight or a wrong, and that it is better for the soul to cleanse oneself of negative feelings towards another person. But when it comes to one of my former friends, I just can't do that. She didn't slight me personally.
We had known David for several years when he had got together with our friend, Jenny, just after university, but we weren't close. He had never become integrated in the group in the way that some partners had. He would come along to birthday parties and the occasional drink in the pub, and he'd always been perfectly nice, but for whatever reason he'd always hovered on the periphery.David was fine. There hadn't been an accident or diagnosis.
I saw her for a drink a little while later. She didn't want to talk about David. She was quiet and distant, which seemed reasonable. We talked about other things. I told her I was on the other end of the phone if I needed her, and suggested that she might benefit from meeting with a therapist. In the months that followed, we caught up via text or met for dinner here and there. And then, she seemed to drop off the radar. Messages went unanswered for days.
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