How to ditch the drama and respond, not react

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‘Responding is more empowering because it’s more deliberate and means we can take ownership of challenging situations, rather than them taking ownership of us' states Counselling Directory member Jo Kierstead.

. It’s natural, it’s normal, but it’s not a very fun experience.When you’re emotionally reactive, it can feel like you’re on a constant rollercoaster of highs, lows, regrets, and cleaning up mistakes. It’s draining, too.is a wonderful thing – but to learn to process emotions in a healthier, less drama-filled, way.‘Reacting is typically quicker, an immediate impulsive “action”,’ explains, ‘whereas responding is when we’ve spent time considering what we actually want to do next.

Responding makes you feel more in control. You’re making a decision on how you will deal with a challenge, rather than letting a situation and the emotions it brings up overwhelm you. ‘Responses may still have mistakes, but you have often taken a moment to not only construct a clear reply – but process what was actually being said ‘Even some of the smallest, subtlest of things can give us the interruption we need to reduce the intensity of the situation,’ Jo recommends.

Reactions happen fast. Do what you can to slow things down and give yourself a minute to think before you respond.If you find your emotional reactions feel completely out of control, or are having a truly destructive impact on your life, speak to a professional – it can be really powerful to get the root of what causes you to react the way you do, develop a better understanding of yourself, and have proper support to changing the way you respond.

 

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