How to cope with Mother’s Day if you don’t have a mum

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One woman shares her coping mechanisms for getting through a difficult day.

You may also likeFriends and colleagues avoided talking about my mother in case they upset me. Some cut contact altogether, scared my misery was contagious. I missed Mum constantly: my days were punctuated by moments when I wanted to call her, to ask her questions, to seek reassurance that I would survive this agony.

Well, some of us don’t. Some of us would love to treat her, to hug her or even to argue with her one more time. But we can’t. I used to get irrationally angry and wanted to knock over every card stand I passed like a petulant child. Every email that mentioned mother/mum/Mother’s Day was marked as spam. I avoided social media in the weeks leading up to Mother’s Day and wanted to hide under a blanket on the day itself. But with time my anger lessened. The weighty rucksack I was carrying got a little lighter.you may find a bit of relief if you’re also facing Mother’s Day without a mum.

I wish I owned a badge that said “ask me about my dead mum” because I could talk about her until I lose my voice. I could bore you with anecdotes until you begged me to stop. Yes, I may cry, but that’s because I love and miss her, not because you’ve upset me.

 

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