How to cope with Christmas if you have a difficult family

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There’s no two ways about it – festive pressure can put a huge strain on already tricky relationships with relatives. Here, rey_z explains how she learned that the perfect family Christmas doesn’t exist IRL – and that’s OK.

at the last minute, tying up loose ends at work, and spending money you don’t have is not always a recipe for relaxation.

Sadly, that isn’t always the case. Statistics around the issue are hard to find, something estrangement charitysuggests could be because of prevailing cultural taboos around family fall-outs. But in 2012 alone, over 7,000 students applied for estranged independent status, while a survey of estranged adults in 2015 found that the majority had no interest in reopening communication with family members.

I’m not estranged from my family, but our relationship is not always easy. For many years I blamed myself: I was too annoying, too provocative, I started too many arguments. I felt completely powerless to get out of what was an often incredibly draining andI was so jealous of friends who had more straightforwardly supportive parents or who had a large, close knit community of relatives; it was so bad that it often festered into a pretty unpleasant bitterness.

Family holidays: “It wasn’t my fault – nor was it theirs, particularly. We just clashed in many ways”

 

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