How comparison culture is taking a toxic toll on our self-esteem

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We've scrolled ourselves into a pit of despair - the worrying effect comparison culture is having on our everyday lives

to make sure every woman sees themselves reflected in the pages of our magazine and to dispel the myth that any one person or life is perfect – we decided to askreaders about their self-esteem and confidence. We wanted to find out how the mainstream media and social media we consume daily is influencing how we feel about ourselves, in part to better understand our readers, in part to help us fuel much-needed change. The results really shocked us.

“With social media, you can see people just like you,” says Anna* who took part in the survey. “People you grew up with, had the same opportunities as and can demographically relate to are constantly in the forefront. Whether it is a true reality they are portraying or not, it is difficult not to think, ‘Where did I go wrong, why am I not living like this?’”Comparison is human nature and it’s an instinct that starts early.

“Comparison is part innate, part learned,” says the UK’s first comparison coach, Lucy Sheridan, who has just written a book called. “We rank children at school and praise individuals with gold stars, all of which makes us feel in competition with others rather than with ourselves at a very early age.”Negative comparison certainly started young for Sheridan.

While the level of comparison we’ve reached today feels decidedly unhealthy, at its core comparison can be a positive influence, acting as a motivator and a social barometer. The most famous work on comparison was done in 1954 by Leon Festinger who coined the term ‘social comparison’. He believed people get a sense of validity and cognitive clarity by comparing themselves to others. However, 66 years later, the playing field has changed dramatically.

Yet the definition of ‘real life’ gets especially murky when we’re talking about both social and mainstream media. Statistics show that for every selfie we see, around 10 attempts at that selfie have been made. So much of what we see on our screens is a half-truth, a virtual perfect world that disguises what’s going on in 4D. Despite many of us understanding this in theory, our self-esteem is still battered because our brain is hard-wired to prioritise what it sees.

 

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