Dr Quinn-Cirillo says that “many of us can find ourselves apportioning blame after a negative event such as a breakup, so practicing self-compassion is good.
But it’s important to not bog yourself down with endless “what ifs” and other secondary questions. Dr Quinn-Cirillo highlights that there’s “a difference between reflection for purposes of self-development and procrastination, where we may find ourselves ‘stuck’ and playing out elements of the relationship over and over with no endpoint.
She says: “Instead, focus on what self-focus and care will look like and how will you achieve this. What was missing in your ‘me’ time before the breakup, what values and enjoyable activities have you not made time for?”
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