Every month I hit rock bottom for two weeks - I'm not depressed, it's my period

I become a totally different person.I question everything, including why I’m here. I feel like a failure and as though my life is a mess. I am in a dark hole and I want to get out of it.– premenstrual dysphoric disorder, which is a very severe form of PMS . It causes a plethora of emotional and physical changes two weeks before a period starts.It is a troubling time, where I hate my life and all the blessings within it.

In many ways, I wish the conversation happened earlier on so I could be prepared but I recognise that perhaps there was no language for it at the time my mum started dealing with it. She’d had it since her teens and PMDD wasn’t recognised as an official diagnosis until 2013. PMDD is caused by the brain reacting negatively to the rise and fall of oestrogen and progesterone that happens during the cycle. It is a mood disorder – not a hormone imbalance – and therefore, won’t show up on a blood test.My luteal phase feels like it goes on forever. During this time I wake up covered in sweat most mornings and have an insatiable hunger for anything greasy or unhealthy.or socialise, I hate my life, and have this thick cloud over my head following me wherever I go.

I did a poll on my Instagram discussing the symptoms and asked if any of my followers had suffered with PMDD. I got messages upon messages from people saying, ‘This is exactly what happens to me!’ She said: ‘These can range from having fleeting thoughts about not wanting to exist to requiring medical interventions to keep safe.

I believe PMS is acknowledged more than PMDD because it’s more common, and often, I don’t think people understand the severity of PMDD.

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