Couple test experts' 8 types of date to put relationship back on track

Bickering about the bins and spending your time together staring at screens is common for a lot of us. Could eight simple dates put your marriage back on track?Relationship gurus John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman have come up with a simple eight date plan that promises to revive your love lifePsychologists John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman — who have been married for 30 years — believe so.

Their new book Eight Dates outlines the rules for each themed date — no phones, don’t drink much, talk lots, and try to keep a sense humour throughout."And we can lead you through the eight essential conversations that will give you the best chance at creating your own ‘happily ever after’.

"Just before our wedding, Katherine’s mum was diagnosed as terminally ill. It changed the dynamic of our relationship and it has been really hard since.” Mortgage adviser Katherine says: “Due to the unexpected stress of our situation, we row over stupid things, like who empties the dishwasher. We need to put the kindness back into our relationship.”The first date focuses on addressing any conflict and accepting your partner for who they areSomewhere peaceful where you had a great time in the past.

Conflict is natural and not all problems can be fixed. You can’t “solve” your personality or lifestyle differences. You should accept your partner for who they are.“For this date we stayed at home and had our morning cuppa in the garden. We’ve realised that we are different – I’m a self-confessed control freak and James is more relaxed.”“We feel awful after a row. The key for us is to avoid getting into an argument in the first place by being more understanding of each other’s differences.

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