Bootleg Wordle merch doesn't seem to understand Wordle

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A lot of bootleg Wordle merchandise doesn't seem to know what Wordle actually is.

I'm not made of stone. A little plushie pillow with wee little arms and dots for eyes and little smiling mouth? This is a cute pillow. However, if the eyes are correct in guess two, they should be present in guess three and four. There should be six eyes and two mouths on that thing, which would then make it an abomination that should be cleansed with fire. Sorry, plushie.

Also, don't judge my opening word. It's currently PLUNK but I change it every couple days. You don't know me, sweatshirt. You don't know shit about me.Refreshing to see a Wordle shirt admit it doesn't know what Wordle is, so I can't fault it for a seven-letter row instead of five. It doesn't know! I do question the idea of buying a shirt just to complain about Wordle, however. Using an entire afternoon to complain about Wordle shirts, on the other hand? That seems fine to me.

Chris started playing PC games in the 1980s, started writing about them in the early 2000s, and started getting paid to write about them in the late 2000s. Following a few years as a regular freelancer, PC Gamer hired him in 2014, probably so he'd stop emailing them asking for more work. Chris has a love-hate relationship with survival games and an unhealthy fascination with the inner lives of NPCs.

 

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