BBC Radio 4 - Woman's Hour, Listener Week: Day One

This week Woman's Hour is all yours.Today we hear from Heidi who wants us to explore a kind of ADHD which is the Inattentive type and affects girls. Heidi is joined by Dr Céline Ryckaert who explains how and why it can be hard to diagnose in young girls and women.

We've also got Marilyn on. Not only is she a regular listener but she's a psychotherapist and new mum. She wants us to discuss what she calls "mummy drinking” which she believes is a problem. We've paired her up with Lucy Rocca, author and founder of Soberistas, a social network for women struggling with alcohol addiction.

What's it like to divorce when you're 70? Scary or liberating? Our listener Anne tells us all about it. And how do we bring up sons to be kind and considerate men in the future, especially towards women? How do you encourage them to believe that girls and women have the same rights and opportunities as they do? And what does it really mean to bring your boys up as "feminists"? Kelly-Anne told us that she wanted us to tackle that one.

citronpsych nakedvix GLInitiative janegarvey1 Committed to feminist parenting but would you send your son into a primary school playground wearing pink, sparkly wellies!! 2/2

citronpsych nakedvix GLInitiative janegarvey1 Enjoyed this discussion. Dilemma when son (now 23) started primary school and wellies were on the uniform list. Took him into Woolworths and he chose the pink, sparkly ones. 1/2

Found this so interesting! Being divorced at 28, there are some similarities - being able to be freely yourself, the invaluable practical and emotional support of family and friends, and the fact it’s never easy.

Soberistas It feels much more prevalent. I find myself implying I drink more than I really do. I catch myself doing it and wonder why - a quiet cup of tea helps me relax as much as a gin sometimes (there are times when it has to be a gin though)

citronpsych nakedvix GLInitiative Bring them up with my 18 year old daughter 😀

citronpsych nakedvix GLInitiative Surely we should be teaching the truth, which is that girls have MORE rights and opportunities than men. There ARE female-only short-lists in many areas now especially in education and civil service jobs. There AREN'T male-only short-lists

citronpsych nakedvix GLInitiative It was great to meet you all today and continue to have necessary conversations.

Happier single – and why not? Anne, I loved your story.

The thing that stops so many unhappy me from leaving their wives is that they'll no-longer be able to live with their kids and they'll be homeless and still have to pay for a home they don't live in.

Soberistas We're conducting surveys to understand 'mummy drinking' behaviour and develop support for pregnant women and mums to drink within recommended guidelines and improve health/well-being. Survey for mums: Survey for pregnant women:

citronpsych nakedvix GLInitiative CrushOnMyBrush

citronpsych nakedvix GLInitiative The society is a mirror of its families. Today, more men want to take responsibilities in parenting, why can they not? The 'single most important childhood factor in developing empathy is paternal involvement in childcare'.

Soberistas I have to say, as a non-drinker, the whole “more gin” / pass the wine thing was just another way to not quite belong when finding my feet in motherhood. It bothers me a lot less now though, mostly because I’m more sure of myself

This sounds like my daughter (21yrs old) but the waiting list just for diagnosis minimum 20 months. Despair. How can this be Ok?

Soberistas I’ve been talking about this at home and feel that it is problematic. I dislike the way drinking has been glorified. Yes motherhood is tough and it’s good to talk about it, but making alcohol the solution seems like a wrong move.

citronpsych nakedvix GLInitiative Itis important that fathers and mothers call out sexist attitudes among boys. And among men in public life as well. Woman as role models is also important, eg Dorothy Hodgkin.

citronpsych nakedvix GLInitiative I’m not sure it’s that difficult, a family dynamic that role models equality across all aspects of family life. Mothers role model having aspirations and pursuing things of importance to them and fathers role model supporting this!

citronpsych nakedvix GLInitiative I'm sure Jane was flirting just then...

citronpsych nakedvix GLInitiative I hate to point this out but women (females) and men (males) are not the *same*. The point is that we are *different* but that need *not* imply that we are not Equal. Getting language right with kids is Essential.

citronpsych nakedvix GLInitiative I raised my sons to be kind and thoughtful to females and they both ended up being used and abused by narcissistic women!! 🙆‍♀️😳

So reassuring that boys never get ADHD🙄 When we rid ourselves of the toxic BBC we'll offer this show as an example of why it had to go. Enjoy your privilege....for now.

sadly, many of the symptoms discussed today equally apply to attachment disorder and/or childhood trauma. Clinicians, in my experience as a Special needs teacher, are not yet skilled to determine the differences. I regularly observe children with the latter, being misdiagnosed

I was diagnosed at 19 after years and years of struggling at school and work with crippling anxiety. One thing I would say from my experience is that I do have the hyperactivity but I suppress it, like many women and girls do.

Empathising with this lady 😢 But not just girls get forgotten...my son exactly the same. He was a ‘good’ boy, a daydreamer who didn’t mess about at school. School support v lacking! My son is still ADD, still perfectly imperfect, and starting architecture degree in September 💪

What about sexually transmitted diseases? Femidom

This sounds like my daughter who was then diagnosed at 28 with Aspergers which is totally ignored in girls as it presents differently.

Is there Premenstrual exacerbation with this condition?

Soberistas Had this discussion at home how drinking dominates popular culture. Have spent the last year trying to buy birthday cards that don’t reference alcohol - it requires effort.

Why is it such a surprise for women to divorce and enjoy their singlesness?

Love these liberated ladies - inspirational divorce

Well done Anne, i applaud you. Being single is a joy 😁

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