He tells his close friend to ignore his jealous girlfriend’s ‘somewhat abusive’ messages.
s quite close but with no romance and no desire for that type of relationship from either one of us. My friend recently started dating a woman who is admittedly jealous of our connection. She’s sent me a number of angry and somewhat abusive messages that are clearly intended to hurt my feelings.
My friend says I should just dismiss her communications as some misplaced jealousy that will eventually abate. I’m hurt that my friend wont stand up for me, but because we’re not romantic I don’t want to demand anything regarding his relationship. For now, I’m distancing myself from the friendship but I’m sad and not sure what to do going forward.You have two options: You can try to continue this conversation with your friend or choose not to.
I talked to friendship educator and licensed therapist Blake Blankenbecler about your dilemma, and she shared the crux of the issue: “When your guy friend suggested you should dismiss the harmful messages from his girlfriend he was at the same time dismissing your feelings.” If you haven’t, you should explicitly address this by saying something like, “I know you think this will blow over, but I don’t appreciate being talked to in that way. It’s hurtful and inappropriate.
Is this the first time one of you have been in a relationship since becoming friends? Are you in a relationship, too? In all friendships, adding partners to the mix can change our friends’ availability and priorities. However, respect, kindness and care should never be compromised. Your friendship may need to recalibrate, and while it’s your prerogative to distance yourself, I wonder if it would be worth broaching a conversation about this with curiosity.
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